elfflame

May 2016

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Fic: Draco's Son - PG13

Title: Draco’s Son
Author: [info]elfflame
Rating: PG13 for implications
Pairings: Implication only, but Lucius/Draco, Draco/Scorpius
Summary: A new Malfoy is born, and Draco learns how it is to be a father.
Warning: Implication of incest
A/N: I normally do H/D for Draco’s birthday, but I really loved this idea, so I went with it. Thank you to everyone who read this through for me. And to Ceria for the wonderful beta job.  Oh, and happy 28th, Draco. :)


July 5, 2006

My little Scorpius,

As I write this now, I am sitting next to your bassinette in the nursery. I never considered how your being here would affect me while your mother was pregnant. I just knew you would be my heir. I had no idea how attached to you I’d get.

So tiny. I cannot believe how someone so tiny could affect me. Could hold so many of my hopes and dreams in their hands. So much of my heart.

I will do anything for you, my son. I will protect you from this world for as long as I can. Likely longer than you will wish it. I want you safe from the things that nearly destroyed this family. From the things that took him from me.

I cannot allow you to be hurt the way I was. I won’t.

Your father,
Draco


May 3, 2008

My Son,

It’s just after midnight now, and I’ve only just made it home from the banquet honouring the fallen at the Battle of Hogwarts. I’m rather shocked that I was not the only one to insist that Professor Snape, of whom I am sure you will learn more about as you grow older, should be honored as one of the heroes of that day. I’m even more shocked that the person most vociferous about it was Potter. You’ll learn of him, too, likely. Whether or not I wish you to.

Perhaps someday I will give you this journal, so that you can understand your family’s role in the world better. I wish I could put into words what that time was like for me. Then again, I do not. It was a horrible time. We were meant to be the best of the Wizarding World. Instead, we nearly lost everything because of a madman.

But understand this, Scorpius. For me and for your grandmother—family always came first. Eventually your grandfather realized it was the most important thing as well.

He is not a kind man, but I hope that you will know him. The softer side of him that I know. That I love. It is because of him that family means everything to me. It is because of mother that we all survived the war, but it is because of father that I am here with you, rather than sitting in Azkaban with him. Even though it hurts to be apart from him.

I hope he will be released soon so that you will be able to meet him. So that together we can teach you how to be a Malfoy in this new world.

I miss him.

Your father,
Draco


October 18, 2008

Scorpius,

Every time I think I could not be prouder of you, you prove me wrong. I was carrying you through the garden today after you tired of walking. Not even two and a half and you want to go everywhere, see everything. Your eyes are so bright; the whole world seems reflected there.

We approached mother’s rose garden, and though it is late in the year, there was still a bush of one of her favorite varieties blooming. Its flowers are a lovely violet hue that seems almost to glow. I think you like them. You reached out for one, and at first I just thought you were babbling as usual. You do that a lot. Particularly around me, or so Astoria and your nanny say. But then I heard you say it distinctly: “Rose.”

You are such a clever child. If I could, I would shower you with your grandmother’s roses.

Now you’re sleeping in your cot again, with a fresh vase of those roses next to your bed. Before you fell asleep, you turned to look at them, and I’m quite certain I heard you say it again before you drifted off to sleep.

You truly amaze me.

With love and pride,
Your father


September 21, 2009

My poor boy,

As I write this, you lie in your bed, whimpering softly in your sleep. Dragon pox.

Mother and Astoria both assure me there is nothing to be concerned about, but all I can see is my son in pain. I remember this same disease killed my grandfather. Mother assures me that was merely because he was far too old to survive the malady, but it still scares me.

It frightens me that I can do little to soothe your discomfort. That your fever burns so hot. Your cheeks are red, and even when I press a cool cloth to your forehead, it seems to do little to help.

I hate this. The last time I felt so helpless, I nearly lost what little family I had. I feel that I will lose you now. I can’t. I would die if I did.

So I wait. I can’t sleep. Not while you are suffering. In the morning, I’ll bathe you myself, look in your eyes and assure you that I will be here as long as you need me. As long as you are suffering, I will do everything in my power to stop it. However little that might be.

I swear, I will always be here for you should you need me, Scorpius.

Your father,
Draco


May 15, 2010

My little bird,

I took you flying for your first broom-ride today. You took to it faster than I ever did. I can still hear your laughter ringing in my ears.

Someday I will tell you how I tried to steal your grandfather’s broom and fly on my own before I was ready. I will talk with you about Quidditch, and how I loved it almost more than anything else in my life, aside from my family. If the war had not intervened, I might have even played on a professional team.

I know you will be better than either father or I. You will be a star in the way Potter could only imagine. I cannot wait to see you beat both his sons. Because I know you will. My little bird.

With all my pride,
Your father


January 5, 2011

Scorpius,

I have just put you to bed after what you told me was “the best day ever.”

I know that I should be pleased for you that you have found a friend, but I find it difficult. Despite the fact that it is Blaise’s son. He is a good friend for you. A perfect companion. Your equal. Your age. As likely to be in Slytherin as you will yourself.

And yet… The truth is, I hate to share you with anyone. I know it is not right. You deserve playmates your own age. It is hard for me to watch you smiling at someone else, forgetting that I am even in the room. I know it is part of you growing up, but I hate it.

I used to wonder why father would scowl so when I had friends visit. Now I think I begin to understand. I see how it feels to be the father, watching his son prefer someone else’s attention to his own.

I want to be the first you come to with anything. Your joys, your fears, your hopes, your dreams…the little hurts you get. Your great successes. I know they are yours to share with whomever you should wish. All I can do is guide you on your path, and help you choose the best companions you can have to succeed.

Still, I also hope you remember—I will always be here, should you need me.

With love,
Your father,
Draco


May 14, 2012

Scorpius,

Father was released today. An early release because mother is ill, and Potter seems to feel some obligation towards her because of the help she gave him in the final battle. He has persuaded them that sixteen years plus two are enough to suffer for a lifetime of being branded a witless lackey, and that father is harmless enough now.

I don’t know whether to curse Potter or thank him. Though the former is more likely than the latter, as I’m sure you must know by now.

Either way, father is home.

I watch as you circle around him when you see him. It is hard, seeing the two people I love most in the world treat each other no better than strangers. Yet that is exactly what you are. Only time will fix that.

Still, it hurts to watch.

What hurts worse is when you ask me why I must spend so much time with him. You do not connect your own feelings towards me with the fact that I might feel the same toward him. All you see is that my time is being taken by someone else. Someone you don’t know.

How I will manage to keep you from despising him, I am not certain. I want you to love each other, but the very idea seems out of reach.

All I can do is hope that time will bring you together before it tears me apart.

Always your father,
Draco


December 26, 2012

Scorpius,

Never did I think I would grow to despise father’s return, and yet…this gift he has given you… That was quite unexpected. Of course, because of it, he is your favorite now, and I am forgotten.

How it is that he managed to get his hands on a Snidget when they are such a protected species, I am sure I will never know.

It is good to see you so happy. I just wish I were the one to put that smile on your face.

Your grandfather tells me to stop sulking when I see you playing with the thing. I rather think he is enjoying my discomfort at his having taken a bit of you from me.

Then again, he always did like playing with people.

Still…at least I no longer have to deal with your own scowls of jealousy when I choose to spend time with him. That’s something, at least.

Your father,
Draco


August 8, 2014

Scorpius,

Mother’s funeral was today. You—my sweet, dignified son—looked so lost. I know you miss her already. So do I. I am glad you have such fond memories of her. That you know she loved you.

You’re such a strong boy. Stronger than I ever was. I always expected them to be there. You…you don’t need anyone. Not really. I suppose it shows that I have raised you well. That you’re strong and secure in who you are. You will never need validation from others the way I did.

Do you know that she was third to hold you, after your mother and myself? She took one look at you, then told me that you would surprise all of us. And that you deserved a worthy name. She never did approve of the one I chose for you. I think she wanted me to name you after her father.

She loved you very much. I hope you will always remember that.

With love,
Your father


February 1, 2016

My son,

I wish your mother and I getting divorced hadn’t affected you as badly as it has. I had hoped to contain it a bit. The truth is, this has been coming for some time. I had thought she and I had managed to come to some sort of understanding after your birth, but the events of the last few years made things difficult. Then mother died, and everything changed. Finally, I realized both of us would be happier if she is free.

As you will be, my Scorpius. I know it hurts now. We both still love you as much as we ever did. Now we can both be happier when we are with you, rather than fighting in front of you because we are both so unhappy ourselves. It is better this way.

I know you will not believe it for a while, but I promise you it is true. Neither of us will ever stop loving you, no matter whether we live together or apart.

All my love,
Your father


July 21, 2017

Scorpius,

Your Hogwarts Letter came today. I have never seen myself in you more than today. Your delight at getting your letter brought back the memory of the day my own letter arrived. How pleased and excited I was. How I begged father to let me go. I do wonder how different my life might have been had I attended Durmstrang instead, but I do not regret my time there. Even the last two years.

For you, my brilliant boy, Hogwarts will be only joy. I know you will outshine everyone there. That you will be a leader the others look up to. That your Quidditch skills will be surpassed by none.

I can’t help but smile at the list of requests you’ve already made for taking with you to school. I am not looking forward to convincing you to leave your Snidget at home, however. I know how very fond you are of it. Likely father will take your side against me when I try to tell you no.

I only hope I can hold my ground when faced with you both. You are a formidable team when you stand together. Then again, perhaps it is my own weakness that makes you so.

Fondly,
Your father


May 3, 2018

Scorpius,

Twenty years.

I know you can’t imagine a world where Death Eaters are nothing more than a scary tale told to children. Or that your grandfather, not to mention your father, numbered among them. Believe me when I say it was a different world. I wish I’d never learned how dark it could get. I hope you never have to, either.

There was a time when that movement had actually meant something. We were trying to change the world. In the end, it became only another madman’s obsession, and we became tools for him to discard. As he discarded Severus.

Now that you’ve been at Hogwarts nearly a year, you have met Severus. I am glad you have. I hope you can see why his death was such a waste. He was a great man. It’s fitting that he has been hung in the common room, so that he can still watch over the Slytherins. I can only imagine the conversations you’ve had with him.

I wish you had known him when he was alive, though. That portrait is a poor copy of someone I admired very much. I do think he would have liked you. It would have been wonderful to have him teach you as he taught me. You would have learned so much.

Still, had he survived, likely he’d likely have left, and you would not have met him in any case.

I hate that this is the only way you will know him will be through this pale imitation of him. Or through well-intentioned speeches by Potter and other pompous officials who never truly knew him.

Perhaps when you come home for the summer, father and I will be able to tell you more about him. It could be a nice way to spend an afternoon together—just the three of us.

All my love,
Your father


January 2, 2019

Scorpius,

A Potter? I know I’ve spoken of Potter as little as necessary over the years, but surely I have mentioned a few things in passing? How that brat’s father made my life hell for six years? Or what his grandfather did to Severus? How can you honestly want to spend any time with him after knowing any of that?

I don’t know how I managed to hold my tongue with you nattering on about him constantly the whole holiday. Father says I was no better, but I never considered Potter a friend. Nor was I ever so enamoured of him. Yet everything you have said points to the fact that you spend all your free time together.

Yes, the boy sorted into our house, but honestly, you cannot expect me to be pleased about this. I suppose it is why you did not tell me last year. Or over the summer.

Just considering it makes me ill. My son, friends with a Potter. How did we sink so low?

Father tells me that I must let it go.

I’m not sure I can.

Still, now that I’ve written this…best not to send it. It’s just so hard thinking of you spending any time with that boy. If it is what you wish, then I must wait. Hopefully you will regain your senses soon enough.

If that boy hurts you, I will make sure he pays.

Your father,
Draco


May 16, 2020

Scorpius,

I know you’re angry with me now. That losing your mother this way has been hard on you. That any word I say will only be taken badly, so I write to you instead, in hopes that someday you will read this and know.

I never wanted this to happen. For you to lose your mother this way. Astoria deserved to live a good long life. To meet the grandchildren you will someday give her…us.

Your mother and I never shared a great love, but we did grow to care for each other. We were just better apart than together. Happier that way. If I could do things over again, I think we would have had you still. We would have simply agreed to raise you as friends. I’m sure she would have said the same. We both love you. Wherever she is, I know she is watching over you now.

When you are ready, when you need me, I will be here.

All my love,
Your father


September 22, 2021

Scorpius,

My head’s still reeling from the letter you sent saying that you had decided to focus on your studies rather than trying out for Quidditch this year. I had always promised myself that I would not be the controlling sort of father that Lucius was while I was in school. Granted, I love him, and did then. I think I might have been a stronger person had he not always been right there to pick me up and pave the way for me.

Still, I never expected this.

I had always assumed that you would take after me and join the team as soon as you could. That you would be a first-rate Quidditch player. You love to fly. How could you not be? And yet…four years on, you are not. How could I not see that you were simply uninterested?

I feel like I have failed you in my reaction to this. My anger over your calm reply shocks me. It is your life. You should choose your path. I can only be gratified that I did not send the first draft of my letter to you. And that you are strong enough to tell me that your interests lie in other directions.

So why do I feel as though I have somehow lost something?

Your father,
Draco


February 1, 2022

Scorpius,

He’s gone. My father is gone. He was gone once before, but then I was sure I would get him back. I don’t know how to be without him in the world. Alone.

You will be here soon, but for now—I feel so lost.

It is just us now.

Why can’t I breathe?

He left something for you. And he told me to tell you he is proud of you. That you are worthy of our blood, our name. He loved you.

I can’t do this alone…

Please come home soon.

unfinished

***


Scorpius stood in the doorway to his father’s study, watching him where he lay, his face pressed against the pages of the book as he snored softly.

He knew his grandfather’s death would hit Draco hard, and had been certain he would find him drunk, or passed out, so finding him this way wasn’t exactly a shock. Still, he was reluctant to wake him to try to get him to his room. Even though he knew he had to.

“Father?” The word was barely a whisper of breath, and did nothing to make Draco stir. Scorpius stepped into the room, his hand settling on his father’s shoulder, and he squeezed it gently when he spoke again. “Father? Perhaps you should go to bed?”

Draco jerked awake, then looked up at Scorpius, wide eyed. “You’re here?”

The hope in his father’s face made Scorpius’s heart clench. “Of course, father. The headmistress said I can stay as long as you need.”

“Such a good boy,” Draco said with a smile. He stood slowly, closing the journal he’d been sleeping on. Scorpius recognized it. He’d seen his father writing in it a number of times over the years. Every time he asked his father if he could read it, though, his father would tell him, “When you are older,” so he held his tongue.

“Come on, father. Why don’t I walk you to your bedroom?”

“I’d like that.” He put his hand on Scorpius’s shoulder and squeezed it lightly, still clutching the journal.

Scorpius led him from the room and into his bedroom. The journal was placed on the bedside table while Draco prepared for bed. His movements were slow as though he were moving under water, and Scorpius felt his heart clench again at how old his father suddenly looked.

Finally he slid beneath the covers, and Scorpius settled on the edge of the bed. “Will you be all right, father? Would you like me to stay?” It was hard to ask. He’d never had to before. With Lucius gone, though, he had to.

Draco nodded, then reached out for the journal. “Here. I couldn’t finish it, but…it’s yours now. I want you to have it. It’s just us now. We’ll have to take care of each other.”

“We’ll be just fine,” Scorpius told him, taking the book and setting in his lap, ignoring it in favour of taking his father’s hand. “I’ll always be here for you, father.”

Fin

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